"Attention-Grabbing" Methods

From the moment I started this group, I knew there would be challenges. After all, I’m dealing with a group of people who, by nature, often hesitate to speak out due to the fear of negative feedback—that’s the reality of living with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). I understood that. I knew that the feedback might come cautiously or even indirectly, as people would try to avoid confrontation. But what I didn’t expect was the consistent wave of negative reactions. Let me remind you—this is a group of people who typically wouldn’t dare speak out for fear of rejection, yet I found myself facing pressure from them in unexpected ways.

The real challenge became how to convey my message without creating a tidal wave of backlash. I could already see the "attention-grabbing" methods some members were using—passive-aggressiveness and the threat of causing a scene if things didn’t go their way. In a way, it felt like silent blackmail: If I didn’t align with what certain people felt was right, they would stir up drama and force attention in ways I wasn’t interested in dealing with.

What these people failed to realize is that I’ve been living with rejection my entire life—on a level that would put most of these experiences to shame. I’ve been through more rejection than most people can imagine, and yet, I don’t rely on social media to express those feelings or to gain validation. I don’t live for the approval or disapproval of others online. My reasons for being here are different. I came to create something meaningful and real for others, not to participate in the drama or the emotional manipulation that social media often breeds.

I've thought long and hard about how to deal with those who thrive on creating chaos, especially under the pretense that I’m doing something wrong. My plan is simple: I’ll give them exactly what they’re asking for… by continuing not to address them. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that not feeding attention seekers is the quickest way to make them move on. Engaging with these individuals only opens the door for more attempts to pull me into their drama, and I refuse to be a part of that cycle.

Now, let me be clear—I’m not saying these people are actual soul vampires. But, I can say they don't have RSD, nothing in their behavior displayed any sign of having RSD, But I’ve noticed a pattern of behavior: they stir up conflict, build it up until they have an audience, and once people are paying attention, they escalate the situation into a full-blown scene. The proof is in the numbers—every time this happens, I can see the impact when I look at the weekly group stats. As ridiculous as their behavior may seem, it does make a mark.

Attack someone else to stir up trouble

Circled around like a shark to cause the illusion of fear

Took the attack up a couple of levels

Played the victim

Fake cried "admin"

Made a statement that I was doing a bad job and they were leaving the group.

                        

Here’s a list of common behaviors from someone who is begging for attention, especially in social or group settings:

Constantly Creating Drama: They often stir up unnecessary conflict or escalate small issues into large problems to grab attention from others.
Playing the Victim: They may frequently portray themselves as being wronged or misunderstood, seeking sympathy and validation from others.
Publicly Airing Grievances: Instead of handling issues privately, they may post or comment publicly, hoping to draw in an audience and get reactions.
Overreacting to Minor Issues: Small inconveniences or disagreements may result in exaggerated emotional responses, making it seem like a bigger deal than it is.
Interrupting or Hijacking Conversations: They often disrupt discussions or shift the focus back onto themselves, regardless of the topic at hand.
Seeking Validation through Complaints: Frequently complaining or expressing dissatisfaction to gauge reactions from others, looking for reassurance or attention.
Fishing for Compliments: They may subtly or overtly downplay their qualities or achievements to provoke others into complimenting or validating them.
Creating Divisions: They may try to pit people against each other or create cliques within groups to be at the center of the chaos.
Repetitive Posting or Messaging: Consistently flooding the group with posts, comments, or messages to keep the focus on them, even if the content isn’t relevant.
Using Guilt or Manipulation: They may try to guilt others into paying attention to them by implying that no one cares or is supporting them enough.

These behaviors are often exhausting for others and can create a toxic environment if not addressed. The key is recognizing them for what they are: tactics to draw attention, not genuine attempts at resolution or connection. I've seen this sort of thing played out in real life - I'm a dinosaur. 

However, I won’t let that change my course. The best strategy is to stay focused and not allow them to pull me into their theatrics. Giving them the attention they crave only gives them more power. And that’s something I’m not willing to do.

So, I want to be clear: This group is not about pandering to those who threaten to make noise when they don’t get their way. It’s about supporting one another through the reality of ADHD and RSD, and that means sometimes facing uncomfortable truths and hearing things you might not want to hear. But it also means we’re here to learn, grow, and support each other—not to create unnecessary drama.

If you’re here for the right reasons, I welcome you with open arms. But if the goal is to control the narrative by stirring up conflict, you’re in the wrong place.